In this post, I would like to extend the definition of parental alienation. Some groups of the people believes, that PA is a form of child abuse. Others give another definition – ‘pseudo- science’. There are people who accept it as a normal event. It is a result of many previous events and the consequences. The final result – many children live separated from one of the parents and their life is not the same as before.
Unfortunately, PA isn’t happened by an accident or bad luck. The both parents are responsible for that. Well, some of them probably should not take any responsibilities.
Sadguru said: “If you focus in injustice, you will find more injustice on the world”.
In other words, when we focus in PA, we can find a lot of cases related with. If we focus our attention in the benefits of PA, we will understand the other side. In this case – the alienator, perpetrator or abusive parent.
Let we focus our attention in a cause of that kind of behaviour. We will recognize that was subconsciously. The abusive parent does not want to hurt the children, but unfortunately he or she does it habitually. If the parent manipulates the children, it is also subconscious behaviour. He or she are not aware of it. They won’t recognize what actually do that to the children and that will affect their future.
That is the reason of many divorces related with PA. These children grew in families with abusive parents. When they create family, they are the same copy of their parents. I would like to explain more about one of these cases.
A mother was abused in her childhood. When she married and she has children, she applied the same behaviour as her parents. She became abusive and jealous. Her mother manipulated her to end the relationship with her husband. It was done with a divorce. That plan was long term plan after the beginning of the marriage of her daughter.
What actually happened? If the people attract each other on subconscious level, are you agree that their relationships will ended ? It’s caused by subconscious (habitual) behaviour. That means PA behaviour existed in the mind of one or both parents. When the emotions and anger reach their higher level, one or both parents will expose this kind of behaviour – PA syndrome.
The question is: Who paid attention to it? Are you agree that mental health plays a big role in PA? For example – A parent with a mental disorder is predicted to a child abuse, domestic violence and PA.
We can’t build a house without solid base. We can’t build a family with a person with a mental disorder. Unfortunately it has happened and it will happen. We can’t change the people – the wife or the husband, but rather we can accept them as they are. These people behave as they have been learned from their past relationships.
Will we change their habitual mind? Why won’t we accept them? Or will we try to fight with them instead? Is it worth?
The question is how to prevent PA?
There is no way to prevent it. The people have to be conscious and aware of their desire for marriage and children. First at all, they have to understand that there is no any insurances, guarantees in their relationship, but there are a lot of responsibilities after. In a case, they fail, they have to accept it and both to take all responsibility for that.
Thank you!
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